What if nothing is ever truly a “problem?” Would that change how you see your experiences?
Too often, we don’t pay attention to our words. Words have power, not only when we use them outwardly in the world, but also when we use them internally, with ourselves. The words you use are actually a pretty good indicator of the stories you carry in the shadow side of your psyche.
And, what does “problem” mean anyway? Usually, it’s used to refer to something we see that we don’t like or agree with, want to be different, or an obstacle in our way. But what if you used “challenge” instead of “problem” each time? How would the situation feel then?
This is something I started doing a year or so ago. Every time I was about to say that something or someone was a “problem,” instead, I would stop and rephrase that they were a “challenge.” That meant that whatever the situation was, it was never a problem, just a challenge for me to face. And… challenges are good things!
Some people prefer problems, because they see them as something logical to “solve.” But problems sound and feel defeating and solving them, only an intellectual exercise. It keeps it impersonal and distances you from the situation at hand, and the shadow stories stuffed down and tucked away in the dark of your psyche.
Challenges give us opportunities to identify the things we consider difficult, and then look into the reasons WHY… learning more about ourselves in the process! They give us something to face, rather than solve or dismiss. They give us the chance to overcome our challenges and feel empowered as we embrace them. But even more importantly, they give us the opportunity to see that they might never have been truly a “challenge” for us in the first place… Only that we had defined it as such. A self-created issue or challenge.
And THAT, is where shadow stories tell us so much about ourselves indeed! What I would consider a challenge, you might do every day, or the opposite could be true. Challenges can be personal and/or collective, but they always come with a story.
So, they next time you are about to use the word “problem” for something, try using “challenge” instead, and then, try, this week, to see what story you are carrying about WHY that thing or situation is feeling like a problem or challenge in the first place.
Minding the Story 